I suddenly feel possessive and its not exactly a good thing, huh...

And I suddenly feel the need to conform to society.
like...
1. be popular! have many friends surrounding u at once as possible. NEVER walk alone.
2. Have countless friends on facebook, it would be ideal if u hit the limit and need to create another account...
3. Plentyy of wall posts! THe more the merrier. Till it takes AGES to load, and people stop wall-ing you.
4. Have a blog, and have MANY MANY tags/comments, viewers...

5. Be pretty! Gotta watch what you eat, cannot be fat
6. Get rid of dark eye rings. Panda looking people aren't very popular
7. Best is go for plastic surgery, then u don't need to do much. Errrrrrrmmmmmm...

8. Identity. Have something cool to identify with
9. Like a favourite number
(Honestly, I never had one. Mine changes all the time. Somedays I like 11, somedays I like 3, somedays I feel like a big fat zero. I don't understand whyyyyy people have to have a number that identifies you? like what ""-10-" or like "-87-" that kinda thing. Aiyyoohhh! Don't need names already. Number can alr.)
10. ......... something else lah huh.


Aye. During dinner fellowship that night at owen's place, we were asked a question "what makes you feel special/what's so special about you?"

Part of me wants to say "EVERYTHING! The way I look, the way I act, the way I walk, the way I smile, the way I fart, the... EVERYTHING!" And the other part thinks... Well, otherwise..."I don't think there's anything special about me. I'm a plain jane. But I guess God thinks I'm special (everyone's special to him) and that's what matters most..."
Isn't it?

And some said the people around them make them feel special. Hm... That leaves to be discovered.

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they aren't loving you with all they have"

I used to think if God made me special and him special, then what's so special about me when he's special too? Hmm... It's like I like the plastic-y red pencil case with the flower on it, and the brown stripped cloth one. Both are special... And I guess I can't choose one over the other?

Suddenly I feel like a hermit.
Aye, life's complicated. In a way, it's good isn't it? Then I won't get too attached to temporal life here, but look forward to eternal life in heaven! :) I like being in Australia, where people don't know you, and you get to start all over again. :) Maybe that's why I would like to travel. (Although I scare alot of people on first impressions)

I noe I shouldn't reallie be too bothered about how people will see me. But it affects me quite a bit I guess. Maybe it's the need to feel accepted. Hm... DOes it reallie matter? And when I don't feel like people see me the way I want them to, I result to wanting to be a hermit. Just back off from there and... leave.

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10:31 PM